Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
