Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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