I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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