I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
That was an excessively violent trivia night
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
