I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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