We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize