i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
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