And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
