I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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