guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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