1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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