Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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