I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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