i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
