if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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