Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
