You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
