My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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