you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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