So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
