no. you can't hotbox the world.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
40s are totally the cure
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
