He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize