I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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