I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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