I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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