Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Did I show you my penis last night?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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