so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
