It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
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just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
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Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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