as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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