i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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