If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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