Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize