why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
