Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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