If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
