I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
