we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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