Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
