yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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