the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
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