I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
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is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
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I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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