You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
