and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
