see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize