Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
