she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
