shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
