Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
