We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Someone signed my nipple.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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