Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
