Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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