if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
operation harelip BJ is a go
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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