All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
