I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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