mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Do vagina's smell?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
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