I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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